Development team? How far are we from plug-and-play for software configuration and network integration? I'd love to start doing some minicomputer giftgiving for the holidays :-)

We do not advise to invest to anything with purpose only for Storj, please use only what you have now.
Use Realistic earnings estimator for reference.

We do not have plans to simplify setup to one click on current stage, because operating a node requires some technical knowledge or willing to learn. If something goes wrong, the operator should be able to recover the node. If you do not understand how it works, how to setup and how to monitor it - the node would be lost.
This will generate a not needed churn of nodes. So, setting up the node is some kind of exam to be a Storage Node Operator.

The storagenode is a Server, which provides space and bandwidth to the customers. It should be publicly available, thus port forwarding is required operation for successful participation in the network. All automatic port forwarding methods either not secure or doesn’t guarantee the success (for example - your ISP did not provide you a public IP and you should either call to your ISP to resolve the issue, or switch to ISP who offer a public IP or use a VPN services with port forwarding feature such as portmap.io, ngrok, PIA, AirVPN, PureVPN, etc.)

To have a “GUI” (I suppose you mean the setup wizard), you can use either Windows installer: GUI Install - Windows - Node Operator or Linux installer: [Tech Preview] Linux Installer Part 2

The only GUI they have - is a web-dashboard with all needed information, see Dashboard - Node Operator

This is not mining, so it makes no sense to integrate with mining outsource companies.

We do not develop consumers applications, we develop a platform for such applications. The third party developers can build applications like DropBox and use our platform to store data.

But you can have a DropBox-like experience right now, if you would use rclone to sync your folder with Storj DCS bucket or use rclone mount command to mount a Storj DSC bucket to the local folder.
The other way is to use a FileZilla or even Objects browser in the satellite UI

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